(Frasier's email from 11/5/17)
This week has been really good. My companionship has been great this week. Nothing has necessarily changed about either of us, but I did actual service for my companion this week and I think that changed both of our attitudes just enough to make things work. Before I had been doing little things like cooking him rice and making sure his bed was made, but that didn't really take any effort. True service (at least in this case) is when you do something that is noticeable and meaningful. Like I said, nothing necessarily changed about either of us. That means that there is still stuff we need to work on, but we are on the right track which is good.
Hopefully my email last week didn't scare anybody. Missions are great, but there are some heavy truths that don't get talked about very much. May buhay ko which is good! (Added by Alayna; Translation: I am alive!)
Another reason that my email was a little bit heavy last week was because I was kind of stressed out with some things and I think that influenced how I was writing my email. I got a lot of compliments about my email so that is a good thing I guess.
He is my struggle for the week. Like I've said, I've been thinking about family, friends, and home a lot. I can't imagine any missionary who doesn't think about that stuff at the beginning of their mission. It's good to still love home and where you came from, but our calling as missionaries is to be 100 percent dedicated to the work. I said a prayer earlier this past week to help me get my heart and mind in the right place. I don't know what God's plan is, but it definitely isn't what I was thinking of. That night and most of the nights since, my dreams have all been about family and home. One I was walking down the street here in the Philippines and saw my family, so I ran over and gave them a hug and talked to them. That kind of stunk just because it made me think about home even more.
I decided to use reverse psychology and look at all the pictures and letters I have from home one night, needless to say, that didn't work. So the last thing I can think of is if all of you back home can just stop thinking about me at all that will be great! (joking)
Here are some of the things that have happened this past week:
On Wednesday we had a "5 weeks" review. I think technically it is supposed to be a 4 weeks review, but because of other meetings and stuff it got pushed back a week. That was cool because my whole batch of missionaries got to be together for a little bit. Most of us haven't seen each other this whole time we have been here. It was cool to all get together and discuss how things are going. I think all of us have been shocked and at one point or another had the thought "what are we doing here?".
As far as I know, everyone is doing good though. Some can speak better than others, some can teach better than others, some are still the exact same as last time I saw them. As long as we are doing what we are supposed to it will all turn out ok though. In that meeting President Hiatt kind of pounded us a little bit. He is very concerned about "exact obedience" in the mission and because our batch is so big (24) we are kind of the future of the mission. Because of that we sat through that whole meeting more or less getting chastised.
I have been around President enough to know he loves us, but for some of the Elders and Sisters this is only the second time they have ever met him in person. He used the analogy of a tree being blown in the wind when it is brand new. (I think it is a Gordon B. Hinkley talk.) He said that all of us new missionaries are like the brand new trees where the wind and influences can bend us until we grow enough that we can change our ways. All we need right now if a little string to hold us the right way and we can grow into straight big trees. If anything, I feel like I am a tree in a hurricane right now. I'm not sure what is quite going on, but it is all good. I'm figuring stuff out.
We contacted a guy one night. He was just sitting on the curb so we started talking to him. He was really nice. He was joking with us and having a good time. He, of course, said that we could come back and visit with him some time (everyone here says that). When we were saying goodbye he got up and bought us a snack from a little tindahan right by where we were at. He bought us a drink and a snack. That was especially cool just because we had never met him before and he was kind enough to buy us stuff. He also said that he was a shoe repairman and offered to repair our shoes. We taught him a few days ago and he seems really interested so we will see what happens. I really see potential in this brother. (A tindahan is just a little store that people build onto their houses that has little snacks and necessities.)
We stopped at a member's house one night to say Hi and get referrals. We were talking to them for just a minute and it was about time for us to start heading back to our appartment to make dinner and go to bed. Before we knew it, the mother of the household had made a buch of food for us. She fried some fish and made some guly for us. She was a cook so it was really good food. They made us eat before we left (which we were more than willing to accept)!
We have another member that literally almost every time we walk past their house they give us food from their tindahan. Another member gave us a whole bushel of bananas as we were returning to our apartment. All the people here are so nice it is sometimes hard to believe. Hopefully I can take a page out of their book by the time I return home.
The weather has been nice, but at the same time, it has not. It has literally rained every day since last Monday. It usually doesn't rain too hard when we are actually walking outside, but in the mornings and sometimes when we are teaching it is just dumping buckets. The benefit to the rain is that it cools it down enough that you aren't sweating all the time. It is still not cold by any means, but my long sleeve white shirt was at least bearable to wear yesterday at church.
I got this sweet Book of Mormon that I ordered from the Manilla MTC. This brother hand carves clay covers of whatever you want. I will send pictures next week of it, but it is sweet. It has Jesus coming to the Americas on the front, my name on the spine, and then the Manilla temple on the back. I also ordered it in Tagalog which gives me even more incentive to learn how to speak Tagalog by the end of my time here.
There isn't too much to report as far as teaching goes. We decided to clean out our teaching pool a little bit. We dropped some people and re-commited some to baptisms and all that good stuff. The closest baptism we have is Dec. 2. Hopefully that one comes through. It is the brother I was telling you a little bit about in my last email. He reads the Book of Mormon and marks different verses he likes which is good. He reads all the scripture references that are in the pamphlets we give him.
There are a lot of responsibilities we have as missionaries. First of all, it is crazy to think that missions even work. We were talking about it a few days ago. There are four 21-19 year-olds living in a house by themselves, 2 of which are in a foreign country. We are in charge of buying our own food and supporting ourselves, we have total freedom of what to do throughout the day (even though we are told what we are supposed to do). Given all of that we somehow still keep on going. I don't know about the other missionaries throughout the world, but I still feel like a kid. I don't feel like I should be doing all of this on my own, but somehow it all works out.
Along with all the responsibilities topic. We have so much that we are supposed to do that it is pretty much impossible to do everything we are supposed to do. Contacting, teaching, keeping our line in the water, finding all our referrals, exact obedience to all the rules, being on time with the schedule, not worrying about home too much, having our heart in the mission, learning the language, getting along with our companion, properly planning and setting goals, following through with those plans and goals, loving the people, breathing, etc. Its pretty much impossible.
My greatest goal in the mission is still to become a consecrated missionary and I feel like I am as far from that as ever. Especially seeing and hearing about some of the other people that have been in this mission (past/present). I just have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best. I can only do as much as I can do with the Lord's help. Hopefully, that is enough to sit at the end of my mission and be satisfied with what I have done.
If anyone has any tips or tricks on how to learn a language that would be greatly appreciated. It is definitely not easy.
Question of the day: How in the world did English become the dominate world language? It is so hard/weird explaining a lot of the English things to my companion or other elders. Just take a second and think about some of the things you say and what they actually mean if you think about it literally.
I love you all so much. If feels like time is going by so fast, but also so slow. I still have a long time before I get to see any of you again, but if also is crazy that it has already been 3 months. The only bummer about that is I feel like I haven't done very much, and I still can't speak Tagalog worth anything.
Love you! Miss you! Ingat po!
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Forever and a day, Love Elder Williamson!
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